I know that it is getting farther into January and most people who are going to have already shared all of their New Year stuff and are going on to other things. I’m not most people.
In the past I have shared them with my best friend and then we would talk about them and have a good visit together. She would give me her opinions of my goals, suggest some ideas, and encourage me to do the best I could to achieve my objectives. This year I can’t really share this with my best friend and get her opinions. My best friend passed away in June of 2014. I don’t really have anyone else. I feel lost and totally alone. I feel desperate. I have decided that I need to share my New Year’s resolutions on my blog this year.
The following was written over a week ago….
Happy New Year 2015
2015 will be a year of healing, of growth, and of creativity!
This year my new year’s resolutions are a little different than in the past and I am writing them in a different format than I have previously done. This year I want to focus on the idea that each day is a new beginning, a new chance, a new opportunity for so many possibilities. I plan to welcome each month, each week, and each day with hope and good expectations. I saw somewhere that someone had taken a jar and each day wrote on a slip of paper the best thing (or the least bad thing) that had happened that day. The slips of paper were then put into the container. It would serve as a reminder that there are good things happening and doing this would require me to search out something positive even on the worst of days.
I believe that small steps are good, even the smallest step is progress. In some cases a temporary step backward is still movement. Movement is good. This year I want to I need to work on me! But not like I have attempted to in the past. I need to realize that I am a good person, my opinions and feelings do matter, I really do try to do the best I can with what I have. I can do what I put my mind to (yes within reason) however being human, I also have limitations and can only do so much. I need to take control of my life, Instead of just going along for the ride I need to direct things a little more. I get it; if I can’t stand to be around myself than why should anyone else want to be around me. I need to learn to like and appreciate myself. I am not the selfish person that my family tells me that I am; in fact I am very generous. I need to start treating Amanda as good as I treat the other people around me. You know the Golden rule, “treat others the way that you want them to treat you”? Well, it never occurred to me that Amanda could be an “other” or that I was teaching people how I wanted them to treat Amanda by my own example. I am valuable and important and I deserve respect especially from myself.
Taking care of Amanda is not a selfish act. Putting Amanda first at times is not a selfish act. Amanda needs to be nurtured and taken care of physically and emotionally. To this end, I need to think, act, and be healthier. “Good in equals good out” … I don’t remember where I heard that, it might have been in culinary school regarding the stock pot. The time, money, and energy required for me to prepare and eat the proper foods and nutrition, which would help are essential for me to feel my best, are well worth expending. Exercising doesn’t need to be a trip to a gym or a set regimen. Exercising is moving more and the focus should be on both physical and emotional improvement. This reasoning comes from that personal knowledge that when I walk, especially outside, I feel that my general wellbeing improves. Walking can also be a chance to meditate, to de-stress, a chance to pay attention to my surroundings and find the little things often overlooked, a chance to think.
By focusing on good nutrition and exercise other important aspects of a healthy body will follow in time. While good nutrition and exercise are essential for a healthy body, they also contribute to emotional health. Also contributing to emotional health are doing things that make me feel valued and good about myself. There is no reason why I should not “put my best foot forward” and represent myself the best way that I can. I live in a world of first impressions so I should, to an extent, be not only trying to sell my art but in a way myself too. To this extent I want to pay attention to my appearance including; posture, cloths, hair, nails, and makeup.
I am an artist! I need to create! Creating is a part of me! I need to embrace and honor it! I need to be less humble and shy about both myself and my work. To this extent I need to put myself out there, I need to make a name for myself, and I need to sell my artwork and my crafts. My plan for doing this is to make more work, organize my work, create an online presence for myself using my blog, website, and online selling platforms. There are many steps involved in accomplishing these tasks. The first of which will be to create a detailed list outlining the order and timeframe of everything needing to be accomplished.
There are other things that I am going to accomplish this year as well, things that I can just list instead of writing forever about. Some of the above mentioned things can also be summarized into a list form as well. So hear it goes……. This year I am going to make more artwork and more crafts, and I am going to sell my artwork and my crafts. This year I am going to learn to make money. This year I am going to save money, I am going to learn to invest money, I am going to pay off as many of my debts as possible, and I am going to get a better bank account. This year I am going to reinvent my ETSY account, research other online selling platforms, and revitalize my Paypal account. This year I will be a stronger online presence, I will update my personal website and my blog will be alive. This year I will renew my passport and I will get a post office box. This year I will eat, act, live, and be healthy! I will walk and move. This year I will take time for me and go on some sort of vacation. This will be the year of Amanda!
2015 will be the year of Amanda!
I now feel like adding “fake it ‘till you make it, right?” I also feel like if I add that it will negate everything else that I have written and want to accomplish and believe.