Not Totally With It Right Now


I just can’t think straight right now. Please forgive me. This will be a bunch of rambling because i just really need to talk to someone.  I will be truly thankful for anyone who takes the time to read it.

I’m sorry for how long it has been. I had really planned to get back to this sooner. Everything seems to be falling apart right now. I just wanted to pop in to say “Hi” and hope that I wasn’t totally forgotten about yet. I really did have plans for this week. There were several ideas that I had planned to write about. One thing was spring and valentine themed earrings that I have been working on. That post isn’t going to happen today. The earrings are half done, the camera on my phone isn’t working, and I cant take pictures with my tablet because I lost the charger. There was so much that I had planned for this week………..

I just don’t know……. I’m a bit out of it and can’t think straight.

My head hurts.

My dog died late Friday night. My Jazmin baby. She has been my baby for 11 years. My big fluff ball. 100 pounds of hair.  I miss he so much! It was sudden and unexpected.

Jazmin wasn’t acting quite right on Thursday so we took her to the vet on Friday morning. After an exam and tests and $500 we were told that she had and infection, give her some medicine, and bring her back in two weeks (ok, I shortened it a lot but that is the gist).  We took her home and gave her the medicine. She was drinking but she didn’t want to eat anything, not even her favorites. She didn’t seem that sick. her hart was beating faster than normal and she was din’t want to do anything, but it had just started. She was laying on the bed next to my father a little before midnight on Friday and he herd her gasp. when he looked over at her she was totally still. That sudden.

She was a big connection to my brother who passed away 10 years ago and also to my cousin who we lost in 2013. My first thought was to pick up the phone to call my best friend, then I put the phone back down before pushing send because I remembered that she died in June.                               I just can’t think straight.  I want a hug so bad! I feel so incredibly alone and the loneliness just keeps building.

There was so much I was supposed to do this weekend. I didn’t get anything done. I just can’t think. I was hosting an online Jamberry Nails party on Facebook this weekend but I just couldn’t seem to get that going. (I feel bad because the consultant works so hard for on them and I just can’t pull my share I have a report that needed to get done by tonight, I need to clean the house, I need to make earrings, I need to get ready for an important meeting tonight, I need to go food shopping because I haven’t gone in about 2 months…… What else, I know there is more, I can’t think. My head hurts. I don’t even know why I’m making this public,…….. did I mention that I need to do a load of wash.

I’m sorry for all of this rambling. If you read any of this at all I thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for caring. Just thank you.

This entry was posted in Healing, I Don't Want To Categorize, I need a hug, My Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s